 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Unfathomable
Miscellany
Loryn
More Than You Will Ever Know
I think about you more than you will ever know. All day long. I hear and see things that make me think of you, of what you'd say to me about this or that. The lack of you makes things seem overcast, slightly fuzzy.
I think of your smile, your laugh--that self conscious giggle that you have. I remember the small white scars on the back of your hands; your tattoo. The texture of your skin still stays with me, under the tips of my fingers--regardless of what I touch.
When I go to my room, I sit in the favorite chair by the window to read your letter. After I have done, after I have savored every word and taken in each letter for the time and the moments it took you to write them, I look out at teh sparkling green trees and watch them. I watch them wave and dance. I think of the things you would say to me. The unfettered things, the sorts of things you reveal when we are alone like this. They are the words that come with breathy abandon, peppered with literate kisses.
I can feel you lips beside my ear; your breath on my neck. I can hear the whisper as you personally deliver the words scrawled out in the letter, as it was intended but never managed.
You tell me about how you wake in the night looking for me. Whispering to me softly, playing with a tendril of loose hair, you tell me about how you bind your fists in the empty sheets searching for a body--my body, to touch. You explain to me how, cigarette after cigarette go by, inducing a Zen-like meditation, which distracts you just enough from going completely insane. But it only lasts until sunrise. Then you have to distract yourself with strong coffee and regular life.
I can only watch as teh trees wave and dance under the sun. My body feels wintry with every breath. I long for your hands, your exploring touch to warm me. My shoulders ache. My neck is vastly neglected without your lips.
As I sit here, holding your letter that came to me from so very far away, I will tell you now, I think of you more than you will ever know.